So it’s been a while, I’m not sure if it was the chaos of life or just me being hard headed but its time. Sure been think for a while and it’s just time for me to clear my head. So we've established that the last relationship that I was in was one of those not good or cool for me. Then I decided to focus more on me. Personal development. And all that been working out. I was recently told that I’m doing better with that. So I’m good. Now as for the whole relationship part well. ... I feel like that girl that stands in the middle of the room and screams but no one but I can hear! Yeah... that not cool. I know what I want. I’m thinking that everyone else is in the dark. I have always been really great at find those people who are unfit for dating. well without prior knowledge that that person is that way. If has rude, mean, selfish, self center, conceited then he'll like me. Yet at first he comes across the opposite and then turn into that man. So I end up being like it will change blah. Blah and it never dos and it never a surprise that it will not. So you would think with all these years of experience with that I would be a expert and learn to just walk away... lol...hence the whole hard headed part. Then there those other guys who just turn weird, turn in to hermit, evil, players, the list goes on. So then a little ago a had chilled with someone who showed me all the attention in the world and it felt like we were old friends that had just chilled forever and it wasn’t forever it was a little bit of time. For the first time in forever it was about comfort, chillin talk and just hanging out. Long story short... we haven’t talked since then and when we did talk it was....I’m in that mood. well WTF does that mean...I understand the whole never want to talk, did like you, lol jokes on you just fit the time slot.. and all that but never im in that mood. that to me, and when i say it means im mad at the whole... not talk to anyone. don’t care. Which speaking of that.. yeah. that mood have it but wish i could talk to someone about it. Yet when this mood arrives there really no one to talk to so that why the whole blog....so its my venting block.. Only because when that mood hits its never a good thing. i hate being mad at the world and i hate being a mean person. Only because it so out of character for me. I 'm laid back.. but i've been cursed as a thinker. .minds always going, always think of life, people... just everything. so its hard for me to sort of life when life’s running through. So right now i feel like im on over drive an trying to slow down so that i can get back to where i reside. Yet its like the never ending puzzle. Everyone puts all these crazy pieces there and im tryna put mine there’s and then some. Soooooo who knows... i just need to breath and work it out.